they say whatever does not break you makes you stronger. so i got an email from the cretin home uni’s DEAN’S OFFICE (with the vicedean cc-ed!!) telling me that i broke the rules with regards to module transfer, and accused me of wanting to increase my workload at melbourneuni (are they out of their mind? who on earth does that on exchange!) and most importantly, signing off with a terse “Please let me emphasize again that you are to adhere to the rules and regulations of our partner university”.thank you, you make me feel so good about myself by firstly undermining my intelligence that I do not know the rules of SEP and by secondly treating me like a primary school kid.

Well, in case you-stinking-cretin were wondering, I actually acted contrary to what you accused me of, I got a letter (prior to all this administrative nonsense) stating that exchange students cannot overload on exchange. why would you, in your narrow mind, think that i want to do more subjects, when your website says that if the exchange university stipulates I cannot do more than 4 the chances of me being able to get extra credit transfer, is higher? dont you ever use your brains to think that if people in your partner university try to help their exchange students so much, that maybe, you, of international repute with an increase in rankings, should at least attempt to not be such a bloody fool?

this has upsetted me so badly that i had leaky eyes. damned. i hate crying, not cuz i think it is weakness or what, but that it makes my eyes swell. big time. and i look like a total wreck. mummy said that this is the real world, and that that is why I should always strive to work hard to eliminate all these (in her words) kenasai people. haha, i love it when she says kenasai. and housemate #1 also sent me a really sweet email with “Sometimes you just gotta accept that nobody gets everything they want – we just hafta accept it with a positive attitude…Ditch those negative thoughts alright? You’ll be out of that shithole soon.”. amen sister.

so this is the real world huh? i get increasingly confronted with “welcome to the real world” scenarios when i am on exchange. and I hate the real world. I want to live in a happy candy world, where everything you eat has zero calories and chocolates do not give you zits and timtams are on discount at Safeway or Coles everyday. And the only people who get fat (by virtue of their breathing!) are those stinking cretins back home who make everyone upset.

but we live in a real world and so i’ve to face that in life, not everyone is nice. that sometimes, no matter how long we wait, Godot will never come. (haha, spoiled the play for some huh? loved that play tho…)

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE COOL THING IS? My God exists in the real world too. He is not like the Simpson’s God with 5 digits… my God’s hand is way cooler than that. He tells me His arm is never too short to help. even though it may not change the course of what cretin institution will make me do next sem, at least my God’s long arms can cuddle me and tells me in His loveletter that

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

and even more, that

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

i know that God you can see my inner disgust and turmoil. I also know that you can see the future, and that the future IS good because You will be there. Even though it may not seem good to me at that point in time, in God’s good time, i will learn something, hopefully something that will chip away at my blockhead of stone, to reflect more and more of His glory. All things work for the good of those who love Him.

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don’t see how they could
Struggles that break our heart in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what’s best for us
His Ways are not our own
So When your pathway grows dim and you just can’t see Him
Remember you’re never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God it too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When you can’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand
Trust His heart.

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hands
So don’t live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry He’s weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him